Storage Unit Auction Hunters, Come on Down!

gameshow hostIt’s Throwback Thursday, once again, and I was thinking about the evolution of day time game shows. I know for me, I may have exaggerated just how under the weather I was back in elementary school simply to catch The Price is Right around 11am. Even at 11 years old, I was always testing out new techniques to raise the mercury in that thermometer a few extra degrees or get my hands nice and clammy. Thanks, Ferris Bueller. Nowadays, scoping out reruns of Storage Wars and the many spin-offs out there is just as productive of a way to pass the time. But, really, how far have we come? Some of us here at might put out a level of indifference to those tantalizing prizes—It’s a BRAND NEW CAR!—but there’s something deep seeded in most of us that loves the possibility of some karmic balance being thrown out of whack and bringing a new home gym, side-by-side refrigerator, or walnut dining room set our way. After all, you make sure your kids brush their teeth every night, right? You help them out with their homework, don’t you? You hold the heavy door open for that sweet old lady as she meanders towards the entrance 50 yards back from you, yeah? Wait—you don’t?! Well, surely you intended to…but I digress.

There’s something eerily satisfying about watching that little, Sherpa-looking guy slowly scale the cardboard mountain towards the top of the mountain. I know I get shivers every time he yodels his way up a notch or two closer. Higher or Lower? For a car?! If only it were that simple. And, of course, how can you forget the gynormic wheel to get into the Showcase? It’s a matter of trying your luck in any given one of these little games. That said, just like the experiences you’re either enjoying while sitting on your couch, or in the thick of a heated storage unit auction, there is plenty of research you can do to prepare for the possibility that the dice will roll in your favor. My perception, biased or not—but either way, ill-informed—, is that those contestants who tend to be most successful are those who are interacting with the prizes on a regular basis. You work in an office 60 hours a week and come home to a home-cooked meal; or, more likely, stop off at your favorite watering hole to eat after a long day’s work, then, odds are, you can’t tell Mr. Barker (I’m dating myself. I meant to say, Mr. Drew Carey) how much that industrial-strength carpet cleaner costs.

The same can be said for today’s locker auctions. Instead of walking up and down the aisles of your local co-op, you gotta check the surrounding real estate market values. What’s the average household income? How commercial or residential is the area? Maybe you can do some research on past clientele for the specific facility to which you’re heading. Whether it’s the early 1970’s and Bob Barker is rocking his slim-fit grey suit, holding that 2-foot, pencil thin microphone; or, it’s the upcoming auction in UT early next month we tossed your way for free on our FB page, the more you know before it all begins, the better your chances of success.

gameshow modelsWhen bidding for every new locker, isn’t it pretty much like the ultimate combination of the Showcase Showdown and the Showcase itself? Take a look at the way things are packed and stored, notice the corners or protruding edges of nice furniture and bid accordingly. (Take note of just how much torque you need to spin that wheel back around to the $0.05 or $0.15 for that $10,000 bonus). Add up the presumed value of all these fabulous prizes as we take a trip…AROUND THE WORLD!! You know, something like that. Okay, so 6 or 7 times out of 10, your storage unit auction experience ends up being a lot less like the Showcase, and more like Plinko. Depending on who your business partner may be, it might not be The Price is Right at all. Maybe it’s more like Family Feud. Whatever your personal experience tends to be, the rules of the game haven’t really changed that much since 1972. Sure, the attire, the technology, and the audience members look a lot different these days. The rules of the game, though, are pretty much what they’ve always been: Put in a little time on the back end, and make sure you’re as prepared as you can be when Rod Roddy calls your name. Best of luck out there.

Let us know what your tv game-show guilty pleasures were back in the day? Don’t be ashamed, say ‘em proud!

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