Going Once, Going Twice...


Here comes the weekend, folks. I don't know about you, but something about the grey day just outside my window is steadily and aggressively draining my normal vigor right the hell outta me. There's just something about the current weather in my locale that makes me want to crawl under a heady blanket and trudge through some Proust or the like. But, that'll have to wait for later; there's still work to be done. I got to tell you, I love what I do. I find the prospect of creating content to be adventurous, challenging, and quite satisfying. There are moments, though, when I get stuck and nearly every other profession out there seems preferable and far more rewarding. Fortunately for me, such times are fleeting and rare these days.

That said, if I was to want to get into something different, I wouldn't hesitate to check out the details and pre-req's for joining the National Auctioneers Association. Ever since I was old enough to hold the remote control—well, ever since I was old enough to keep hold of the remote control regardless of my older brother’s intentions—something about the machine-gun delivery and sporadic rolled consonants emanating from behind the auction block have, to say the least, entertained me.

Plymouth BarracudaI have done a bit of research on the topic. And by that, I mean that I have watched an exorbitant amounts of the Mecum Auto Auctions on Discovery’s Velocity Channel. Those cars are absolutely intoxicating to me. Not all of them, mind you; but, some of those no reserve Chevelles and first generation ‘Cudas from the mid-1960’s?! C'mon now. Those things are gorgeous. Anyway, despite the aesthetics of the process, if it weren't for that lady or gentleman fishing for bids, I’d rather be watching the Golf Channel.

Now, when it comes to the wonderful world of storage unit auctions, there can sometimes be all the entertainment one can handle just from the clientele. At least, that’s what the television would like us all to believe. But I’m fascinated in the psychology and straight procedural details that come along with raising the stakes in tiny increments until the gavel strikes the block. Ya think there’s something subliminally happening in those filler moments? The NAA actually holds bid calling competitions every year. Now that's something that might be worth a gander. All that excitement of an auction, without any of the financial risk.

I’m told that the filler words, and the slurred delivery of them, are meant to generate that excitement during the auction. Apparently, as an observer, it’s just that: filler. But for those on the bidding floor and in the midst of a heated battle, this muddled repetition of mostly syllabic nonsense stir the pot and up the ante on bidder’s anxiety. I buy it. If someone was hooting and jabbering away at me while I was trying to outbid the room on my prized storage locker find of the century, every utterance of a number higher than the one I just nodded at would kill me!

That’s not to say that auctioneers are out to get you. And that’s another thing that I really dig about the vocation. In fact, according to Article 2 of the NAA's Code of Ethics “Members owe the buyer [sic] the duties of honesty, integrity and fair dealing at all times.” Right on, NAA! That’s something that I can get involved in. It is definitely a more involved and legitimate venture than I had originally perceived. The bylaws are extensive and, to be honest, somewhat exhausting to get through. There are educational centers throughout the country if you’re interested, too. Considering the strength with which the self-storage industry has continued to grow, the demand for auctioneers should be a direct relationship, right? I know for me, on a day like the one outside, this gives me something for which to strive. Maybe I can siphon off some of that pep and get going…going…gone!

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