Whad-ya Store That For? Top 6 Befuddling Storage Unit Finds
If you’ve ever pilfered through your own storage or belongings, then you know that you can find yourself perched by a box, reading a book from childhood or playing with an old hand held game while the hours slip by unnoticed.
Now, imagine getting the luxury of handling and analysing each and every item from another person’s past without feeling the personal guilt of disposing of anything. That’s the thrill of storage auctions in a nutshell.
And, to prove it, we’ve compiled a list of some special finds over the past six months, some extraordinary, some ludicrously funny. Read this list, and you will see the joy goes beyond the junk and the jewelry. Here’s 6 mindblowing finds behind self-storage lockers.
#6. High Tech Device at a Great Price
A high-tech device used in medicine, telecommunications, and engineering to detect the electronic pulse of any instrument (or, a human heartbeat even), a forum goer recently bid on and won an “oscilloscope” at a piece auction (just as the name implies, an auction items are dragged out and sold individually from a unit). While a lot of people are less and less fans of piece auctions these days due to gassed up bidding wars on stuff that is relatively low in value (like bidding $600 on a used lawn mower), a good condition oscilloscope was recently won for $100 and resold for $1,200.
Great profit margin on this one, and a really obscure find. What was he going to do with it otherwise, go around scanning the neighbors?
The list gradually grows from the special to the absurd....
#5. Bags O’ Hair from Everywhere
Is it voodoo, or just an eccentric human being creating keepsakes? Another auction hunter reports finding a box with a cross engraved on the lid at a recent auction. Inside were small, portioned out bags of human hair from various stages of the owner’s children’s lives. Kind of endearing, albeit weird, right?
Well, the hair oddity doesn’t stop there, unfortunately. Also inside were other bags of hair, but these belonged to the owner’s cats. Each was labeled with a random assortment of cat names, right there in the mix with her children’s hair. Now it’s just starting to sound like some kind of psychotic hair fixation.
Simply put, it just begs the question, “why would you store this?” Let’s just be glad it wasn’t fingernails.
Although the couple was apparently not present on auction day, another forum poster relays how word got around before an auction that a couple was inhabiting a 5x10 unit and had just been kicked out the day before. Their entire “living room" and "dining room” was up for grabs just 24 hours later because they had already been delinquent for months, sneaking in and out.
No, it’s not as shocking as the door going up on auction day and to everyone's horror, there's a trashy couple making out on a sofa, staring at the bidding crowd incredulously like they were the weird ones.
But, not to dissapoint, such an “on the spot” scenario did actually happen later. Another auction hunter from storageauctionforums.com spins a yarn of his own about how a guy got “jacked in the act” living in a storage unit, and on auction day. A facility owner, guiding an eager crowd around, passed by a unit that looked a little bit "off." Noticing it was unlocked, he stopped the crowd for a moment and threw up the door. Inside was a man in a wife beater on a lazy boy, eating chips and listening to music. He had to scurry out of there right in front of the crowd, says this source.
#3. Slam-Packed With Slot Machines
This one has been included to get you fired up more so than to amuse you. A separate forum member relates that in Dallas, Texas recently, two lockers, most definitely belonging to the same tenant, were found containing “8-Liner” slot machines, a major distributor of gambling gear.
The hook is, most of the bidders got giddy and ended up spending their stack of cash on the first unit, which had a lot of slot machine accessories but just a few machines. The ultimate winner bid his time and took a strong look at the second unit, containing between thirty and forty slot machines. The storyteller laments how he just didn’t have enough cash on hand to take the machines home himself. The winner outbid him by $100 and won the unit for $475—the used, EBay value of just one, single machine.
Total revenue to be made: $10,000. I guess this is the one time slot machines aren’t a gamble.
More interesting than the unit’s contents of #2 is the story behind it. A few months ago, an innocent storage buyer in Los Angeles bought a unit for 1,900 dollars, which, is kind of a rookie move, considering he virtually had no clue what was inside for the most part. His nubile nature got him the find of his life, at least in terms of shock value.
Within the unit was "a large amount of Madonna memorabilia, women’s jewelry, box cutters, scissors, a bible, and a creepy mask," says ThumbPress.com.
The unit once belonged to a man who had done a ten year bit and was currently finishing out his sentence in a psych ward. The man (whose name I won’t mention because it doesn’t really add anything, and I’m sure you can find out yourself) was Madonna’s most notorious stalker from the mid nineteen-nineties who had once broken into her house, threatened her personal assistant, and left threatening, handwritten notes in her house. The man was also a known stalker and threatener of Halle Berry.
This guy only gets storageunitauctionlist mention only due to the fact that he never did anything actually psychotic, like attack Madonna. I think it’s mildly funny that he went to great lengths to break into Madonna’s house, twice, only to leave her notes with her standing in the kitchen with him? I guess he’s never heard of e-mail.
Apparently, the stalker just had something against risqué, female actresses. I guess "Dr. Quinn, Medicine Woman" won't be loosing any sleep over this creep.
#1. “I’ll Come Back for Those Later”
A self-storage employee tells this hilariously “fruity” story. During his morning walkthrough on the facility grounds, he smelled something sweet hanging in the air. Surveying the area for the source, he noticed “bees hovering around outside of a unit.” Not one to pry, he called the tenant and asked what he had checked into the locker several days before. Apparently the guy, a produce truck driver, thought it would be feasible to drop off 2,000 watermelons, slated to delivery to a local grocery store, and head to Texas to run some other miscellaneous errand before coming back for them.
When the facility patrolmen found them, the crates and crates of watermelons were inside the locker, rotting away in the heat. Hey, at least the locker didn’t go two months delinquent and go up for auction. “Alright, here you have it folks, a sea of watermelon goo that has become a vacations spot for insects. Let’s start the bidding at…$10 dollars.”
To his credit, the truck driver could have probably gotten away with 1,900 watermelons, but 2,000 was just pushing it.
So, if you thought the storage auction buying life is dull, think again. A freshly found unit can be a scientific lab, a casino, and sometimes, a shrine of celebrity hatred, all rolled into one. This business is not always just about how much money you stand to gain, but the thrills of what you can find.